Christmas Jokes
Q: What do penguins ride?
A: Ice-Cycles.
Q: What do the reindeer sing to Santa on his birthday?
A: Freeze a jolly good fellow.
Q: What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about
their games in a hotel lobby?
A: Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!
Q: What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmastime?
A: Sandy claws.
Q: What do you call a gigantic polar bear?
A: Nothing, you just run away!
Q: What do you call a snowman on roller blades?
A: Snow mobile.
Q: What do you call the bells on Santa's sleigh?
Kringle bells.
Q: What do you do if Santa gets stuck in your chimney?
A: Pour Santa flush on him.
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.
Q: What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective?
A: Santa Clues.
Q: What do you have in December that you don't have in any other
month?
A: The letter "D".
Q: What goes Ho-Thud, Ho-Thud, Ho-Thud?
A: Santa Claus jumping rope.
Q: What happens when you drop a snowball into a glass of water?
A: It gets wet.
Q: What is a computer's favorite Christmas carol?
A: Array in a Manger.
Q: What is a skunk's favorite holiday song?
A: Jingle Smells.
Q: What is black and white and found in the Sahara Desert?
A: A VERY lost penguin.
Q: What is black and white and green and black and white?
A: Two penguins fighting over a pickle.
Q: What is claustrophobia?
A: Fear of Santa.
Q: What did Jack Frost say to Frosty the Snowman?
A: Have an ice day!
Q: What did one angel say to the other angel?
A: Halo there!
Q: What did one Christmas tree say to the other Christmas tree?
A: I really go fir you!
Q: What did Santa say when his toys misbehaved?
A: Toys will be toys.
Q: What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?
A: Okay everyone, sack time!!
Q: What did the grape say to the raisin?
A: 'Tis the season to be jelly.
Q: What do aliens say when they land in the North Pole?
A: Take me to your heater.
Q: What do angry mice send to each other at Christmas?
A: Cross mouse cards.
Q: What do elves learn in school?
A: The Elf-abet!
Q: What do elves put on their candy canes?
A: Their tongues.
Q: What did the sheep say to the shepherd?
A: Seasons Bleetings!
