Famous Insults
People say that you are the perfect idiot. I say that
you are not perfect but you are doing all right.
Please breathe the other way. You're bleaching my hair.
She can open his mail with that nose!
She has a nice butter face. Everything looks nice, but her face.
She thinks the rearview mirror is for putting on make-up.
She's got more chins than the Hong Kong telephone book.
Someone said you are not fit to sleep with pigs. I stuck up for the
pigs.
Someone said you are not fit to sleep with pigs. I stuck up for you
and said, 'oh yes she is.'
Someone took a photo of you once but it didn't turn out. You could
be seen too clearly.
That's a very meaty question and I'd like to give it
a very meaty answer -baloney!
The next time you shave, could you stand a little closer to the razor?
There are only two things I dislike about her - her face.
There are several people in this world that I find obnoxious and
you are all of them.
They said you were a great asset. I told them they were off by two
letters.
They say opposites attract. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking,
intelligent, and cultured.
When you die, I'd like to go to your funeral but I'll probably have
to go to work that day. I believe in business before pleasure.
When you die, you should have your brain donated to science. I hear
they're trying to come up with the perfect vacuum.
When you fell out of the ugly tree, you hit every branch
on the way down.
When you were a child your mother wanted to hire someone to take
care of you but the Mafia wanted too much.
Would you like some cheese and crackers to go with that whine?
You are so dumb you sit on the TV and watch the sofa.
You are so fat that I hear you were arrested three times for jaywalking
when all the time you were just standing on the corner waiting for
the light to change.
You are so stupid you got hit by a parked car
You are such a smart-ass I bet you could sit on a carton of ice cream
and tell what flavor it is.
You don't sweat much, for a fat girl.
You're so stupid you threw a rock at the ground and
missed.
You're so stupid you trip over the cord of a cellular phone!
You're so ugly you almost look like your mother.
You're so ugly you have to trick or treat over the phone.
You're so ugly you make blind kids cry.
You liked your first chin so much, you added two more.
You should be the poster child for birth control.
You should toss out more of your funny remarks; that's all they're
good for.
You were the answer to a prayer. Your parents prayed that the world
would be made to suffer and here you came along.
You're a habit I'd like to kick; with both feet.
You're so dumb you thought Taco Bell was a phone company.
You're so fat you got baptized at Sea World.
You're so fat you laid down in the ocean and Spain claimed you as
the New World.
You're so fat you use hoola-hoops to keep your socks up.
You're so fat, when you wear a yellow rain coat people scream ''taxi''.
You're so old you drove a chariot to school.
You're so slow it takes you an hour and a half to watch "Sixty
Minutes."
