Famous Insults
Ever since I saw you in your family tree I've wanted
to cut it down.
Every girl has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege.
Excellent time to become a missing person.
Fat? You're not fat, you're just ... fat.
Go ahead, tell them everything you know. It'll only take 10 seconds.
Go fart peas at the moon. (I told this one to Rachael in 7th grade)
Grasp your ears firmly and remove your head from your ass.
He is so short, when it rains he is always the last
one to know.
He smells the coffee, but can't find the pot / a cup.
He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
Heard your family went to a restaurant where they serve crabs just
so they could bring you along.
He'd steal the straw from his mother's kennel.
Hello - tall, dark and obnoxious!
Here's 20 cents. Call all your friends and bring back some change!
He's got that far away look. The farther he gets, the better he looks.
He's so fat, he has the only car in town with stretch
marks.
His personality's split so many ways he goes alone for group therapy.
How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?
I can't talk to you right now; tell me, where will you be in ten
years.
I don't consider you a vulture. I consider you something
a vulture would eat.
I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!
I don't mind that you are talking so long as you don't mind that
I'm not listening.
I don't want you to turn the other cheek. It's just as ugly.
I hear you are an officer. Your rank is - just plain rank, ho ho
ho.
I hear you are being accepted into an exclusive club cause they need
someone to snub.
I hear you are connected to the Police Department -- by a pair of
handcuffs.
I hear you are very kind to animals so please give that face back
to the gorilla.
I hear you changed your mind! What did you do with the diaper?
I hear you were born on April 1 Maeve; just the right date for you
(your a fool).
I know you're not as stupid as you look. Nobody could
be!
I like you. People say I've no taste, but I like you.
I reprimanded my son for mimicking you. I told him not to act like
a fool.
I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo.
I used to think that you were a big pain in the neck. Now I have
a much lower opinion of you.
I would ask you how old you are but I know you can't count that high.
I'd like to give you a going-away present ... but you have to do
your part.
I'd like to leave you with one thought ... but I'm not sure you have
a place to put it!
I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to
get my head that far up my ass.
He comes from a long line of real estate people -- they're
a vacant lot.
He does the work of three men: Moe, Larry, and Curly.
He has a mind like a steel trap -- always closed!
He is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
If I were as ugly as you are, I wouldn't say hello,
I'd say boo!
If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you get change back.
If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
If you were twice as smart... you'd still be stupid.
If your brain were chocolate, it wouldn't fill an M&M.
Is that your nose or are you eating a banana?
It is such a shame to ruin such beautiful blonde hair by dying your
roots black.
I've only got one nerve left, and you're getting on it.
Let's play horse. I'll be the front end and you be yourself.
Let's play house. You be the door and I'll slam you.
Of all the people I've met you're certainly one of them.
